Well, it's been a long week. Not enough work IMHO and still not feeling the best that I could.
It was an all church campout this weekend so I ditched uprising and went yesterday for one day (how can I get a tan with SPF 50 sunscreen? that's an imponderable). Actually Keladry and I daytripped. She liked playing with Bentley (the Rice's Old English Sheepdog) and it wore her OUT.
Pastor Rice talked around the campfire last night. About how we needed to bond together and how we are family here at Mountainview. I loved that talk as I looked around the fire at the people that I love and who love me. How can I ask for more love then I have right here?
My pastor and his wife -- they took a chance on me (yes, I can hear the ABBA take a chance on me) but more seriously they saw the woman that I am slowly becoming and are urging her to come out of the shell that i have built up. It's scary for me sometimes, but I manage. I love them and they are never afraid to tell me that they love me.
There are so many people in this church that I can't even mention all the names, but all I can say is that I never lack for hugs or love.
I do miss my family though. Desperately. My brothers, my sister, my nephews, the niece I've never met. My parents and grandparents.
My grandmother had surgery and checked herself out against medical advice and my grandfather (on the OTHER side) is getting ready to be moved to a nursing home. I can't be home to help my parents with the stress of it all. I'm used to being the one who knows about this stuff.
I guess, what's bugging me the worst is that last time I was home, I was grieving so badly because of the loss of a very dear friend. And I didn't pay much attention to my grandparents. I think they'll always be there.
And now I'm afraid they wont'.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Snow and Summer...
Two words that should NEVER EVER go together.
Yet I wake up this morning to white all over the ground. Yeah, WHITE. I take the puppies out and go EEK!
Actually I took a picture and sent it to a dozen people. ;) Hey at least I'm honest.
I'd love some global warming right now. Seriously. It's not been summer weather yet, barely been spring weather.
I'd say I want to move somewhere with a "normal" climate but nowhere is normal. My hometown area has had two tornadoes, two earthquakes and MAJOR flooding this spring. Here it's snowing and cold and constantly windy.
Tell me how this is a comfort?
I don't know. It doesn't make me feel good when it's cloudy and windy though. In spite of varied medications doing their work on my moods.
Life is good though, I enjoy my work at Office Max and I LOVE the graphic design stuff and all the cool stuff I get to play with. VERY VERY fun.
Yet I wake up this morning to white all over the ground. Yeah, WHITE. I take the puppies out and go EEK!
Actually I took a picture and sent it to a dozen people. ;) Hey at least I'm honest.
I'd love some global warming right now. Seriously. It's not been summer weather yet, barely been spring weather.
I'd say I want to move somewhere with a "normal" climate but nowhere is normal. My hometown area has had two tornadoes, two earthquakes and MAJOR flooding this spring. Here it's snowing and cold and constantly windy.
Tell me how this is a comfort?
I don't know. It doesn't make me feel good when it's cloudy and windy though. In spite of varied medications doing their work on my moods.
Life is good though, I enjoy my work at Office Max and I LOVE the graphic design stuff and all the cool stuff I get to play with. VERY VERY fun.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Out of My Mind Bored...
Until Office Max calls with the news that I've passed my drug test, I'm kind of in the wind...
Which is REALLY REALLY REALLY boring.
Working on a few other odds and ends of stuff but it's driving me nuts not to be working full time. Unlimited naps loose their appeal after so long and making myself actually do the housework hasn't worked so far.
Have gotten a bit of work done with Keladry though. She's going to train up well when I work with her.
Pippin has also gotten his cuddle time.
*shrugs*
I can't wait to get back to work.
Which is REALLY REALLY REALLY boring.
Working on a few other odds and ends of stuff but it's driving me nuts not to be working full time. Unlimited naps loose their appeal after so long and making myself actually do the housework hasn't worked so far.
Have gotten a bit of work done with Keladry though. She's going to train up well when I work with her.
Pippin has also gotten his cuddle time.
*shrugs*
I can't wait to get back to work.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Summer Break...
So two days and I'm bored out of my skull.
This is in spite of the job hunting.
Though, I cannot complain. Three days of vacation and three job interviews and I have a job at the Office Max copy shop. Pretty psyched actually. But I'm not sure it's going to help me catch up with everything.
I'm at the church (my very cool pastor said I can come over here anytime to use the internet) and listening to a Broadway station on the computer. It's been a long few days and I already miss my students and miss coming in for prayer and Bible reading every morning.
I guess I hadn't realized how much of my life revolved around the school here -- I've been spending seven days a week at the church and get to see my pastor and his wife every day and I'm suddenly just feeling lost without the guidance sometimes. I know I can call the Rices' whenever, but I don't want to be a bother. (Though Sister Rice has claimed if I'm stressed and they don't know then they are even more worried)
It doesn't help that I'm not feeling terribly well at the moment (anemic *sighs*) and I'm worried over stuff back home. My grandfather has been hospitalized with a stroke and no matter how much I'm hearing that he is improving, I'm worried sick because I'm NOT there helping out with the situation. I'm the one who is usually helping with this kind of thing because I have the training.
Instead, I'm in Idaho Falls. A place that I ADORE, but it's feeling like a betrayal to my family.
It's easy to say "Hold your head high, you are in God's will" but it's not so easy in application sometimes. I'm not going back to Indiana, but there are moments...
This is in spite of the job hunting.
Though, I cannot complain. Three days of vacation and three job interviews and I have a job at the Office Max copy shop. Pretty psyched actually. But I'm not sure it's going to help me catch up with everything.
I'm at the church (my very cool pastor said I can come over here anytime to use the internet) and listening to a Broadway station on the computer. It's been a long few days and I already miss my students and miss coming in for prayer and Bible reading every morning.
I guess I hadn't realized how much of my life revolved around the school here -- I've been spending seven days a week at the church and get to see my pastor and his wife every day and I'm suddenly just feeling lost without the guidance sometimes. I know I can call the Rices' whenever, but I don't want to be a bother. (Though Sister Rice has claimed if I'm stressed and they don't know then they are even more worried)
It doesn't help that I'm not feeling terribly well at the moment (anemic *sighs*) and I'm worried over stuff back home. My grandfather has been hospitalized with a stroke and no matter how much I'm hearing that he is improving, I'm worried sick because I'm NOT there helping out with the situation. I'm the one who is usually helping with this kind of thing because I have the training.
Instead, I'm in Idaho Falls. A place that I ADORE, but it's feeling like a betrayal to my family.
It's easy to say "Hold your head high, you are in God's will" but it's not so easy in application sometimes. I'm not going back to Indiana, but there are moments...
Friday, May 30, 2008
The end of the year...
Graduation was last night. I smiled at two beautiful eighth grade girls and hugged them and handed them diplomas. I told them how beautiful they were, how wonderful they were and how much I loved having them in class.
Then I went back and served punch again and again, all the while trying to ignore the throbbing in my feet from the two inch gold wedge sandals that I got on clearance two months ago -- very cute, but standing too long is an issue...
Time I got done and collected presents... (a bouquet of red carnations and a ShopKo gift card) I was exhausted. It doesn't feel like the end of the school year somehow... I should be moving out of a camp cabin and going home to see Mom and Dad and then turning around and starting staff training for summer camp.
Instead, I'm hunting for a so-called "Grown up" job for the summer and just amazed at what God has done for me through this year. I'm not the same woman that left Indiana. The woman I see in the mirror is similar, but she's not the same Naomi that left.
Maybe it's the assurance that I see. Maybe it's the way that I will talk to anyone about my church now and about God. Maybe it's the easy way I'll say "Let's pray" or how free I feel to worship.
I don't know what it is. Sister Rice said today "You've blossomed since you came out here."
She's right, I know she is. Sometimes I feel as though the changes have happened all too quickly, but I love it.
And I wouldn't trade Idaho Falls for any church in Indiana.
Then I went back and served punch again and again, all the while trying to ignore the throbbing in my feet from the two inch gold wedge sandals that I got on clearance two months ago -- very cute, but standing too long is an issue...
Time I got done and collected presents... (a bouquet of red carnations and a ShopKo gift card) I was exhausted. It doesn't feel like the end of the school year somehow... I should be moving out of a camp cabin and going home to see Mom and Dad and then turning around and starting staff training for summer camp.
Instead, I'm hunting for a so-called "Grown up" job for the summer and just amazed at what God has done for me through this year. I'm not the same woman that left Indiana. The woman I see in the mirror is similar, but she's not the same Naomi that left.
Maybe it's the assurance that I see. Maybe it's the way that I will talk to anyone about my church now and about God. Maybe it's the easy way I'll say "Let's pray" or how free I feel to worship.
I don't know what it is. Sister Rice said today "You've blossomed since you came out here."
She's right, I know she is. Sometimes I feel as though the changes have happened all too quickly, but I love it.
And I wouldn't trade Idaho Falls for any church in Indiana.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
At the end of the school year...
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I sang this song at my nephew's dedication. It's also applicable to today and to graduation.
I have two eighth graders graduating today into high school. Both are dear gifted girls who have yet to find the extent of their gifts but will at some point very soon.
I'm trying to encourage them to find their gifts as I struggle with mine. It's difficult -- I tell these girls that they should be themselves fearlessly because that's how God made them.
But yet, I still try to hide who I am at times. Not terribly often, as I have a pastor that can tell when the mask goes on, but still. I do it from time to time -- but I'm trying not to do it anymore.
For the graduates:
It's only for a moment you are mine to hold The plans that heaven has for you Will all too soon unfold So many different prayers I'll pray For all that you might do But most of all I'll want to know You're walking in the truth And If I never told you I want you to know As I watch you grow
Chorus: I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams And that faith gives you the courage To dare to do great things I'm here for you whatever this life brings So let my love give you roots And help you find your wings
May passion be the wind That leads you through your days And may conviction keep you strong Guide you on your way May there be many moments That make your life so sweet Oh, but more than memories
Chorus:
It's not living if you don't reach for the sky I'll have tears as you take off But I'll cheer as you fly Chorus
I sang this song at my nephew's dedication. It's also applicable to today and to graduation.
I have two eighth graders graduating today into high school. Both are dear gifted girls who have yet to find the extent of their gifts but will at some point very soon.
I'm trying to encourage them to find their gifts as I struggle with mine. It's difficult -- I tell these girls that they should be themselves fearlessly because that's how God made them.
But yet, I still try to hide who I am at times. Not terribly often, as I have a pastor that can tell when the mask goes on, but still. I do it from time to time -- but I'm trying not to do it anymore.
For the graduates:
It's only for a moment you are mine to hold The plans that heaven has for you Will all too soon unfold So many different prayers I'll pray For all that you might do But most of all I'll want to know You're walking in the truth And If I never told you I want you to know As I watch you grow
Chorus: I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams And that faith gives you the courage To dare to do great things I'm here for you whatever this life brings So let my love give you roots And help you find your wings
May passion be the wind That leads you through your days And may conviction keep you strong Guide you on your way May there be many moments That make your life so sweet Oh, but more than memories
Chorus:
It's not living if you don't reach for the sky I'll have tears as you take off But I'll cheer as you fly Chorus
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