Creating Families

I am native.

This of course means family is a very important thing in my life, not in the "families are forever" theme that you hear so much in a predominantly LDS community, but more that you stand by your family, stand with them, be the backup no matter what.

But in spite of all of that, you cannot choose your family. Believe me I know. I have family that I may or may not have chosen in the first place or as Mark Lowry puts it "You'll cry at their funeral but you don't want to go on vacation with them."

But in spite of that family is such a necessary thing. And you always look for those bonds in any situation.

In the SCA we have "households" where we literally create our families around one person. And we have siblings that we adopt. I'm still a member of Wolfhaven, the household of Duke Moonwulf. I was brought in by Lord Sedric Westbrook who is squired to Sir Alan Culross. Though I am really inactive at the moment, I still embrace that name. I still wear my blue belt and take a moment to stroke the dragon favor that hangs at my waist.

You see, when I was taken into Wolfhaven, I was taken into Lord Sedric's family. His daughter and I wore the same favors and I was friends with his late wife. Which is why the grief was so heavy when she passed away almost two years ago. Because I literally allowed them to be my family. To this day I miss Lisa (Lady Audrey) whenever it's late at night and I want to chat online.

Cuil Cholium was family too. Each of the fighters in our group taught me something different. Chivalry, honor, the customs of the Society and many different styles of fighting. The ladies allowed me to spend my time attempting to beat up on the men and then fit flawlessly back into their circle and do needlework, spin and cook.

Women like Joy, Anne-Marie, Lisa, Nancy, Tamra and Theresa taught me strength and judgement on so many levels.

But then I found out that one of the lights of Cuil Cholium had faded when Joy passed from this life unexpectedly. I still have not grieved properly. And sometimes I think the wound from loosing Joy and Lisa will not heal. Because these women were not just my friends, they are part of my family. Part of a family that has bonds far different than blood.

I have a family here too. Bishop and Sister Rice and Pastor Craig and Sister Andrea are the cornerstones of my family in Idaho. Then we add personalities like Justin. Church members, co-workers And the hoop expands even more. The sacred hoop that the Indian people talk about.

Never think that these people are "just friends" (I despise that phrase. As if anything was less important than friends sometimes!) but they are part of my kin, the family that God has created for me in Idaho.

My SCA family are not mere friends, they too are my family. When things happen I need to grieve with that family.

I don't know why I am writing all of this tonight and as it's almost 1 AM, I am probably rambling, but know this.

I love my family that God has given me. The family that was gifted to me at birth.

But God also let me create a family in a place that I wouldn't have had one otherwise and those bonds are strong as well. And I am blessed beyond measure.