Praise You In the Storm...

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=9fad456d209b6f5ee932

"As your mercy falls, I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away..."

The dreading has become reality. That's all I can say right now.

I got a phone call from my Dad this morning... Grandpa passed away.

It seems like there are so many storms in my life right now that I am feeling adrift, lost. Going without an anchor I could say...

My grandfather did not know the truth. That's killing me beyond anything. That and I was so lost in grief over one of my best friends when I was home that I barely saw him, barely spoke to him.

The support here is amazing. Pastor Rice put out the word and everyone is rallying. Dad is trying to fly me home on Monday.

Things have to start living up...

"Though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm."

Two Stepping With Grandpa...

There's a line in the movie Smoke Signals about all the different kinds of couples in a "Ladies' choice" dance at a Gathering of the Nations.





I danced ladies' choice at the Metis pow-wow last summer.

Ladies' choice at a pow-wow is not necessarily about lovers or boyfriends or spouses (though all of the above can apply) but many of the ladies choose other men that are significant in their lives.



Theoretically, you could choose some grass dancer that you think is the hottest thing at pow-wow, but I haven't seen it happen.





As I dress in Cherokee garb, we are asked for ladies' choice. And there is only one man there that I want to dance with. Dad was somewhere else and so was my Uncle Eric.

Grandpa was there though. No regalia, but watching and urging me to go out in the grand circle. To choose some guy from the ones waiting at the pow wow. (You cannot say no at a ladies' choice) It took me forever but I finally got him out in the circle and we two stepped for a bit -- the other girl out there danced with her father.

In the Indian culture we speak of a sacred circle. The sacred hoop as it is. Where we all are connected. My hoop includes two families, native and white. And the church family where I am. My church family is now in that hoop, connected to the American Indian part.

Now, as Grandpa is fading away, I feel that connectedness still more. When Pastor Rice tells me that everything will be all right. When my students are praying with me.

I wish I could go back and relive the moments of dancing with my grandpa at a metis pow-wow and not let go. But it cannot be the case.

But it's a memory forever in my heart.